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| “Come here often?” : From May to August, our recently renovated Weyerhauser Center for the Study of Macking comes alive as well-heeled students from all over the world come to drink, hook up, and get that Stutts name on their resumé. |
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A thousand tanned, toned bodies gyrating together while covered in slippery sweat. A canopy of lights swinging and flashing in time to a propulsive back-beat, thumping out so loud it seems to push the dancers like leaves on a ripple. A night you’ll never forget.
Is this Cancun? Ibiza? No, it’s Great Littleton in the summer, where the world’s young and glamorous come to take classes like “Chasing the Beat: Understanding Modern Club Culture.” Who says learning can’t be fun?
Let's face it, Great Littleton in the summertime has certain drawbacks: Sweltering heat. Oppressive humidity. The highest incidence of mosquito-borne diseases in the developed world. Why in God's name would anyone spend a summer in Great Littleton? The answer is psimple: Pseudo pStutts!
Whether you're the moron scion of a wealthy family, a feckless professional athlete, or an enterprising goldigger looking to move up, invest a summer in your future. Life goes better with a degree from Stutts, even if it's of a kind widely considered bogus. Any scrap of parchment with our name on it is plenty good enough for your purposes. Don't tell us—we don't want to know. Just pay your exorbitant tuition on time, and that's good enough for us.
Our highly trained Enticement Counselors will work with you to design a program that's fun, easy, and loaded with the delectable hotties of your choice. Call or send your manservant today!
