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| “Yesterday’s City Tomorrow”: The Great Littleton Chamber of Commerce is the symbolic heart of the city. |
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Population: 66,000 and dropping
Motto: "Yesterday’s City Tomorrow”
Industries: natural deodorant, twist-ties, used spectacles, vagrants
In Latin, the town's crest reads "Founded 1635; foundering ever since.”
The native Americans called Great Littleton "waukehaukechoogichugook," or "Get me the hell out of here."
Every February, the town's annual “Tournament of Sleet” attracts tens of visitors from all over New England; several tatty and depressing floats wend down the town's streets in a stirring "Sleet Parade." 2005's "Sleet Queen” was Rose Domenico, 21, who declined to attend. The Grand Marshal was Chief Justice William Rehnquist, the fourth straight Grand Marshal to choose death instead.
The hot dog, ice cream cone, and pizza were all invented in Great Littleton. Unfortunately, it was all the same invention—a cone of hot meat filled with sizzling cheese.
The 1901 World’s Fair was held in nearby Near Littleton. Poor attendance led to an investigation, which uncovered a conspiracy rife with beatings, payoffs and vote-fixing. Though the scheme failed to enrich the region and resulted in lengthy jail terms, it has ever since been hailed as a high point of town-gown relations.
Japanese warlord Hideki Tojo grew up in Great Littleton. Some believe that Pearl Harbor was his attempt to get back at Stutts graduate Franklin D. Roosevelt.
The Great Littleton public school system is a national leader in “book-less learning.”
The Great Littleton Witch Trials were the first tourist destination in New England.
Author Charles Dickens, when passing through Great Littleton in the 1850s, famously remarked, “This whole bloody town looks hungover.”
In 1989, Great Littleton inaugurated “Cannibal Days!” a week-long celebration of our community and its unique history. Great Littleton has been called “Cannibal City” ever since the brutal winter of 1794 caused inhabitants to draw lots and partially eat the losers. Once a term of derision, it’s now a mark of civic pride when citizens call each other “cannibals.”
The first sushi restaurant in the United States (run by distant relatives of Hideki Tojo) opened in Great Littleton in 1959. It was shut down immediate by the city Health Department, after they discovered “all the food was raw.”
The feng shui of Great Littleton has been shown to cause cancer in rats.
