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| Fill ’er up : Stutts scientists have genetically engineered this guinea pig to urinate light, sweet crude oil. |
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…that Presidents Lincoln and Kennedy both attended Stutts? "Stutts" has six letters.
…that the University Library had to be massively renovated in the 1950s, after it was found to be sinking. Apparently, the architects and engineers had not factored in the weight of the students' pressure on themselves.
…that Stutts scientists have known the secret of nuclear fusion since 1951, but have a bet to see
how long it takes the rest of the world to catch up?
…that Stutts’ third President, Incense Mather, spent his entire adult life believing that he was being followed by an six-foot-tall invisible rabbit? This later inspired the 1950 comedy Harvey.
… that Freudian psychologists at the Stutts Infant Learning Center came up with the concept of “an imaginary friend” in the early Twenties? They envisioned it as a way to discipline young children with "an unseen, yet all-seeing, deeply personalized force." Unfortunately, others immediately stole this idea and turned itinto the touchy-feely concept it remains today.
…that the color “lavender” was created by a student at the Stutts School of Art in 1879. Far from being celebrated for his discovery, the student was summarily expelled. That student’s name? Georges Mélies.
…that Stutts’ legendary athletic director, Charles Horst ’68, revolutionized swimming by making his teams train in heavy suits filled with sand.
…that the brilliant-but-eccentric founders of Apple, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, made Stutts history while still high school students by turning the school down before even applying. A few years later, Microsoft founder Bill Gates did the same thing. To this day most people think he invented it.
…that during a visit to campus in the 1950s, architect Frank Lloyd Wright hated the “high colonic” aesthetic so intensely that he demanded to be led from place to place wearing a blindfold.
